A child collapses in tears in a shop, a classroom or a corridor. Adults often assume that it is a tantrum. For many children, especially autistic children and children with sensory differences, it is not. It is a meltdown or a shutdown, and the right response is different.
Meltdown, shutdown and tantrum
- Meltdown. A reaction to extreme distress when a child is overwhelmed by sensory input, emotions or too much information. It can look like crying, shouting, running, rocking or hitting out, and can include self-injury. The child is not in control and is not being difficult.
- Shutdown. The quiet version. The child becomes zoned out, silent and unresponsive. Some describe meltdowns as like a “fight” response and shutdowns as like “freeze”.
- Tantrum. Often driven by anger or frustration, and more likely to be aimed at getting something and to stop when the child gets it.
Both meltdowns and shutdowns are exhausting for the child. Repeated episodes can lead to long-term exhaustion, so they should be taken seriously.
During a meltdown or shutdown
- Keep everyone safe. Move away anything that could hurt the child or others.
- Reduce the input. Move to a quieter place with softer light, if you can, and fewer people.
- Stay calm and use few words. A short, steady phrase such as “I am here. I will help you” is enough.
- Sit to one side, at the child’s level, instead of standing over them.
- Do not talk about consequences, reasons or rules now. The child cannot take it in.
- Give time. Most of the time the child does not need anything done, only time and space to recover.
Afterwards
Let the child rest. Show them that you care and that they are not in trouble. When they are ready, talk about what helped and what could help next time. The effects can last for hours or days, so expect tiredness and low mood.
Spotting triggers and planning ahead
- Keep a diary. Note what happened before and after each episode. The ABC chart is a simple way to do it. The trigger is often small, and the last of many pressures during the day.
- Prepare for known situations, such as a crowded event or a change of routine, with a visual schedule and warnings about what is coming.
- Reduce sensory overload. See the sensory-friendly classroom checklist.
- Build in rest. Regular breaks and quiet time make the day easier to manage.
- Teach early signs. As your child grows, help them to notice that a meltdown is on the way, and to ask for a break or use a signal.
- Agree a plan with school. Include a calm place, who will help and how parents will be told.
When to ask for more help
Speak to your child’s doctor, a psychologist or a specialist if meltdowns are very frequent or long, if your child is hurting themselves or others, or if you feel unable to cope. If someone is in immediate danger, call 112. Parents who feel overwhelmed can also call Tele-MANAS, India’s free 24×7 mental health helpline, on 14416 or 1800-891-4416.
Sources
- Ambitious about Autism, Meltdowns and shutdowns.
- Autistica, Supporting meltdowns.
- Seattle Children’s, Autistic meltdowns, shutdowns and burnout.
- Parent Club (Scottish Government), Meltdowns and shutdowns.
This guide is general information, not legal, medical or professional advice. If something here does not match your situation, please speak to a qualified professional.